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Depression and Art: Blue

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Depression runs a long line in my artwork and illustrations. Even when I feel motivated and am not suffering a random bout of it, it seems to slither it’s way in.

This was a quick illustration I did to get back in the flow of things. I’m thinking about doing a series of colors and what the colors mainly represent. Though, if I do, I would probably redo this one to put in a background and use paint instead.

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Being a Fan

In today’s culture, it is impossible to avoid the streams of popular media. TV shows, movies, books, comics, and music fuel or society by simply being in the back burner.

Pop culture is a mold in society. They relieve us from boredom, sure. But they give us something or someone to love (or not) even while we’re not watching or participating. We care about the characters. Will Leonard ever get with Penny for good? Who will win this season’s American Idol? What is life like for a pregnant teenager? Despite some negative comments, these sites give us or someone else someone to care about. They give us characters to look up to.

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A common character used as a role model is the brave Captain James T. Kirk. You may hate Star Trek as much as you’d like, but Kirk symbolized a real person, someone with flaws but the determination to run a crew of 450 people. He constantly needed the help from his First Officer Mr. Spock and his friend Leonard McCoy.
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How about Marvel comics? The characters in the Marvel universe were created to be more relatable than DC’s golden age hero’s. Steve Rodgers was a simple patriot who wanted to fight for his country. Peter Parker was a high school outcast who wanted to impress a girl and money for his aunt. Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr are friends, turn apart by their extreme differences in views.

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What are your role models in pop culture? Call me curious. They can be from books, movies, whatever you are inspired by.

Traveling the Distance

There comes a time where one must leave their home, leave everything they know or love. The thought of staying in one place for my whole life truly scared me, perhaps because my family and I were travelers by nature. I used to move at least every 4 years growing up. I lived in Damascus, Frederick, Rockville, and New Market Maryland, I’ve lived in Hedgesville and Martinsburg, West Virginia, even Williamstown, Vermont. I was used to moving, but I was also used to meeting people who had stayed in those towns, had grown up together. As the constant “New kid” I was always left out of memories like those. There were no memories of me with the other kids. But I never envied them, because most of them had no plans for college or for moving out. They all wanted to stay put, in their hometown. Some even had those businesses you hear about in movies, where the son inherits the father’s garage and the daughter inherits the mother’s shop.

I could never stay on one place. I get restless. I have never been happy in a school, and the thought of staying there without any hope for better schools made me suffer. Take me out of that school, it’s small town, everyone knows everyone. This one’s bigger, there has to be people there I can connect with.

There was never a permanent home for me to travel very far from. I always placed myself at a distance from everyone there. I was new, the only thing they wanted to talk to me about was what it was like in another state. I was the nomad. But I had other stuff to talk about; art, culture, theories. I wanted to meet people who liked the same shows and movies that I did. But there was never any of that.

I remember this girl who sat in front of me in math class. She loved my drawings and my stories of Vermont and the fact my mother was Scottish. We called ourselves friends, I would help her with drawing, she would let me copy her math homework because I was too lazy to do so. But when meeting outside of class, no sketch book, no homework, nothing to talk about, our friendship collapsed. We had no similar interests, and even our art interests were separated by what we both liked.

We weren’t very good friends, just two years later I forgot her name. I wonder of she still remembers mine, or if I’m just “that kid from Vermont.”

There was always a distance to be traveled for me, especially after high school. I find college surfing and scholarship searching to be a journey in itself. Thank you for following me on it. Let’s make memories.

From the Daily Post Prompt: Daily Prompt

The First Meeting

There’s always a first time for meeting someone, and what you do for that meeting is crucial to what that person is going to think of you.

That’s what I look at this post as. This is my first meeting to you. So hello! Welcome, and enjoy yourself here, with me. I can’t help but think what you are thinking. Are you nervous for this meeting? Do you over think your actions here trying to impress me? Maybe not, seeing as I don’t physically see you and really have no way to know whether you have actually read this. But please tell me you’re there. Nothing feels worse than writing to an empty audience. That’s how I see this, how I see us. This site is a stage, and the readers are the crowd. There is no reason to stand on the stage without someone watching you, caring. I hope you care. That’s okay if you don’t. I find out hard to care about myself some days, too.

So, who are you? What do you do? What brought you here? Are you an introvert? Do you enjoy the strange and bizarre company of people like me who spill their lives out on the Internet? Introduce yourself to me. Every person who read this is special to me. Why? Because while the count on page views says “3 people”, that’s three real people. People who think, breathe, have jobs (or go to school), people with friends, things to do, and yet they take the time to acknowledge my existence, even if I’m just a block of text.

So here’s my introduction.

My name is Kayla. I think about things that people don’t think about, things we experience everyday and why they happen. I am an illustrator, though I lack an official employer. I have just finished high school, and with no immediate plans for college I am genuinely terrified everything I do well go to waste. That’s why I am here, to hopefully get to know more people like me through this new social media we find ourselves immersed in everyday.
Your turn. Tell me about yourself. If you’re too scared for commenting, you can talk to me privately. Just as there is a real person reading this, there is a real person writing it, someone curious.

Someone me.